Clearly I need help.  After answering three phone calls today from Betty, each about whether she should shower before we arrive , I went to the cookie bag and dove in.  Three cookies later I looked at my last entry and laughed.  SURE I can get my eating under control. Arghh!  I just have no clue how to do it quite yet.  The call, the stress, rising and eating.  Seems like a pretty clear path to me!


I have no idea what we will face today as we have Betty shower.  Last week I was convinced she stood outside the shower and washed with a cloth.  When questioned she says she never lets the water run.  Today, her son Bob is charged with telling her that in order to get the dead skin off she needs to let the water run over her darn body.  That seems like a good trick.  If she shuts the water off I swear I am sneaking in to see what she is up to!  What is it with showering and alzheimer's?  I just do not understand?!


I saved the above and never got back to it last night. There is always the "tired" aspect when I leave and get home but last night was more that I just did not feel like thinking.


Dinner was great and as usual I did not fuss.  I don't mention that I am on pain much, so mentioning it now, I AM IN PAIN. Constant. Never letting up. Pain.  Between my back and neck pain and fibromyalgia, I am in constant pain.  What I do for Betty and for us is done by the skin of my teeth.  I go inch by inch to get things done.  I take many shortcuts and I am not apologizing for that as I do get so much accomplished.  Any direct sitting is pain..must sit to the side.  And standing...oh my! So, when I prepare food I do it in stages and I aim for as fast as possible.  Last night was no exception to that rule.


While Betty was showering I cooked dinner.  Not having the repeated, "what can I do?" is helpful. You needn't tell me to have something for Betty to do because in this case it would not be helpful.  We eat on tables at the couch and chairs and she would not understand setting those tables.  One can not have carrots to peel at every meal.  So, when Betty was done and I had steered her into wearing clean clothes, shorts no less, Betty was able to sit down and just enjoy dinner.  


I am in pain and grouchy today.  Maybe grouchy most days.  For the most part I keep the grouchiness buried and I try to be upbeat. Today I feel like being grouchy with no upbeat and that is ok for today.