Saturday, September 22, 2012

I do not know how to do this.  I do not know how to get Betty to take her pills.  Not too many as she did today but the right amount and I want to give up and throw the pill bottles at her son and scream, "You do it!" 

I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't have the energy.  I can't fight with Bob.  I can't think about it night and day.  I can't worry about it.  I need to give in and give up.  

No matter how many times I say that the door needs replacing we are on the third or sixth year of me saying that it is too dangerous.  How many times am I to look up home health without action?  I just am at my wits end.

Betty is not my mother and I need to throw this at Bob.  I cannot do this anymore because I can't sleep.  i eat and eat til I am so fat I can't walk anymore because my foot hurts.  I have tried to kill myself with food and it hasn't worked.  I am just fat and alive.   

The doctor gave me anti-depressants but I am too depressed t care.  So, what am I to do but write this down, wake up tomorrow and continue on? 

1 comment:

  1. Oh how my heart aches for you..... I CAN NOT imagine caring for someone who isn't my husband or parent or child.... It was so hard caring for David, and we've been married 49 years, and he's been the love of my life.
    And here you are caring for a 'mother-in-law'..... I wish I could give you a big hug and we could talk and cry together. To me, you are a saint.... caring for your mother in law.
    I'm thinking and praying for you my sweet friend.... hang in there!