Sunday, September 23, 2012

I feel better right now but am not going to sweat the small stuff anymore. I will do the best I can and leave the rest.

Honestly, if  I had to find an outfit to wear and looked at this, which is one side of a two-sided closet, one of two.... I would have no clue what to wear and would wear the same thing over and over.

There are certainly things that no longer fit.  I am not allowed in the closet or in the room, most of the time.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I do not know how to do this.  I do not know how to get Betty to take her pills.  Not too many as she did today but the right amount and I want to give up and throw the pill bottles at her son and scream, "You do it!" 

I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't have the energy.  I can't fight with Bob.  I can't think about it night and day.  I can't worry about it.  I need to give in and give up.  

No matter how many times I say that the door needs replacing we are on the third or sixth year of me saying that it is too dangerous.  How many times am I to look up home health without action?  I just am at my wits end.

Betty is not my mother and I need to throw this at Bob.  I cannot do this anymore because I can't sleep.  i eat and eat til I am so fat I can't walk anymore because my foot hurts.  I have tried to kill myself with food and it hasn't worked.  I am just fat and alive.   

The doctor gave me anti-depressants but I am too depressed t care.  So, what am I to do but write this down, wake up tomorrow and continue on?